Here's my project. Just follow the links. I hope it is thoroughly enjoyed as a remix of meaning, music, and mmmmetamorphosis.
Comments appreciated, I don't care who grades it either..
I like the end of the school year, or the end of the semester. Everything is fuller – our sense of time, may it be for catching up on work or procrastinating more [which I’m betting on you’re reading this because of]. Our awareness that we’ll be leaving soon, however, makes every passing moment more blissful in its reflective nostalgia. I was just thinking about how I told my friend that by our midnight meeting my laundry would be finished. And it just stopped, as I finished my last sentence. But there were those passing moments before these thoughts that I reflected intensely on the reality that my laundry is now almost finished. Finished. A feeling similar to what we feel during breaks – seeing loved ones we haven’t seen in a long time for only a limited amount of time, is evoked in our relationships at school as we return with marked renewal of a limited life together. Whether it’s old age, cancer, suicide, or murder [no these are not the only options, just ones readily occurring to me], we all go at some point unless we turn around and learn a different process of renewal – one that does not, in its most primal essence, know leaving as a reminder for living and loving. An all pervading consciousness knows it has separated itself to become one. And it’s coming home.
I'm glad we talked about the devil today in class. I think its someone people should know about. I like that the text presented said that the devil isn't an entity, it's a dualism. I started believing in 'the devil,' that which is evil, when I believed that things are wrong in the world - that people and actions can be evil. I stopped believing in the devil about the time I stopped believing in religion [strictly]. Both are a tool, a crutch like AZ described it in class, to build on and have something to believe in. However, aside from realizing that there are positive and negative forces in the world, might the devil be a control mechanism and a deterant for free action? Out of fear [of the devil], one might avoid or downright condemn an opposing view and thwart their own nature or self-interest.
Opposite of the remix: I’ve been on the computer for the past hour and a half writing emails, one after another. It’s gotten me to a place where, when I’m finally done, my mind in ready gear prepared to continue down a computer-dependent path, I’m asking what next? What next? Work mode, what more am I to accomplish? Logically, if I start to engage my writing more and more, I will begin to write more freely and naturally come back to a place of free-flowing remix if it is a natural state for me to be in. That’s why clearing exercises like mediation and floating are useful. My mind and body become accustom to moving in and out of states of consciousness consciously. We do this naturally by just relaxing and doing the things we love – being who we want. Writing like this is harder than I thought because it is rare I find those sudden bursts of fluent creation at a computer or with pen and paper in hand. Even as an aspiring artist; random lyrics and songs in full will come to me but it is fleeting and easily forgotten.
And so improvement in this area is far and few between, especially when it is not attempted daily. I try not to push the process, and let those inspirational moments come at will. Similarly, writing a spiritual autobiography presents the same realm of difficulty (not that I’m going to look at it that way). I’ve written down scattered experiences and feelings, but revelation and awe are quickly forgotten before pen and paper finds my hands. Remixing old and new, as well as adding fantasy and the extraordinary like Valis will be two very useful tools.
Consciousness, originating from the Latin word conscious, means “knowing with others, participating in knowledge, aware of” (Winkelman/Morris 10). Consciousness is a relatively new field of study in the west but, for most indigenous tribes, consciousness is understood as existing in supernatural and spiritual planes overlapping and reflecting like a mirror. Perhaps their existence can be likened to the ocean: consciousness is the tide, pushing and pulling the water, which is the spirit that gives life to everything living in the ocean. No matter how we explain it, for many cultures these concepts are alive and well, not only in concept but in daily living, ceremonies, and rituals.
Remix (yesterday): Expression, Identity, and Intuition
In Free your mind, Stephen Pashko (Hey, Earthmuffin, it's cool that you are reading this book. I know Stephen Pashko, I did many meditation retreats with him back in the day!!! Let's talk about it--Echan) describes ego as simply a persona that acts as a “changeable representation of our preferences.” (18) When we are attached to results or “distort our true flexible selves,” we run the risk of solidifying ourselves within concepts and can become hurt by our changing beliefs. Like Rich said in class: the only danger is belief or unbelief. That’s me looking back on the contents of most of this writing from a research paper last semester and giving myself a headache by attempting to judge it as worthy to show to the class. I don’t know. I don’t even know if I believe what I wrote anymore – does it matter? Back to scribbles at websters:
Having intuition or knowing about something can build ego by the identification with knowing or seeking to know. Expression can be without a sense of ego or identity, however active changes in identity when a sense of self is felt is necessary to change ones modes and relationships. Perhaps for science and sacred alike, it is important to look at principles but to avoid feeling the need to draw conclusions. One way is personal and the other is impersonal. One way is being attached to results – having an opinion about having a conclusion. I would exemplify this by thinking about how I would want someone to help me – not to get drawn in emotionally or push me one way or another, not even necessarily to identify with my feelings, but to have the personal openness to care about what I’m feeling (maybe not what I’m saying or thinking), there by giving attention to motivate and intention to express with the intuition that the energy that another extends will be useful. Full expression with fluidity of identity and detachment is perhaps just retaining a compassionate relationship with the unknown.
Back to my old paper:
For example, in Of Water and Spirit, Malidome Somé details his tribe’s understanding of the supernatural, as well as their worldview, quoted in full:
"The closest we come to this concept is Hielbongura, “the thing that knowledge can’t eat.” This word suggests that the life and power of certain things depend upon their resistance to the kind of categorizing knowledge that human beings apply to everything. In Western reality, there is a clear split between the spiritual and the material, between religious life and secular life. This concept is alien to the Dagara. For us, as for many indigenous cultures, the supernatural is part of our everyday lives. To a Dagara man or woman, the material is just the spiritual taking on form. The secular is religion in a lower key – a rest area from the tension of religious and spiritual practice… The world of the Dagara also does not distinguish between reality and imagination. To us, there is a close connection between thought and reality. In the realm of the sacred, this concept is taken even further, for what is magic but the ability to focus thought and energy to get results on the human plane?” (8)
Consciousness as an information system could be considered intrinsically shared, dependent, and subjective or relative to the individual mind. All known physical processes exist in duality as a wave and a particle. “It is not unreasonable to assume that consciousness does as well. When it is particlelike, consciousness would appear to be localized in our heads, but in its wavelike aspect, consciousness, like all wave phenomena, could also produce remote influence effects” (Wikipedia). Perhaps no better explanation of the spirit world exists. Symbols and expressions of this world within a world analogy are abundant; infinite. Geranium says it is what gives us meaning and presence that makes us who we are.
Journal splice (yesterday):
Inspiration self-prosperous
Offering spirit; giving thanks – giving what I have to give – Mind and body playing catch-up with soul – afflictions accustom here release --- my mind knows by intuition of choice and will to be secure with my life and actions I make. Hypothesis and intuition entangled. I give it space – there's nothing to believe. This is submission to spirit not a lowered faith. If symphonics weren’t so synchronized, maybe maybe I wouldn’t listen to my desires but they are felt. Trust the beauty of your mind, the slowness of your breath, and the spirit that moves. Listening to last.fm right now, the lyrics catch Trelanium: “oh mother it’s in her blood.. for the love of another… but it’s only what our hearts power… ”
Back to Paper Paper:
Science came about 300 years ago. Before that, for roughly the past 15,000 years, intuition, art, language, and culture guided human action. Perhaps intuition should not be placed on this same spectrum. Language, art, and culture is developed by interacting with the external world, while intuition is intrinsic and comes from within. Intuition, defined by Oxford English Dictionary, means "the immediate apprehension of an object by the mind without the intervention of any reasoning process." The end and the means exist together when one transcends the intervention of the reasoning process and intuits, which is synonymous with knowledge. Especially when this means nothing.
I resonated with Echan about writing for the wiki. I usually write in word before putting it on here if it's an exigesis - in fact, that's what I'd be posting now if word and word perfect went together... it can be hard to get into the flow of talking in different voices, expressions, tones, and states.. and particularly if I'm trying to do it in a sacred - loving way. Maybe I'll go Mobius style and start saying earthmuffin thinks she's being more vague but it's awkward coming from a caw crowing field of bluntness. But remix it up Earthmuffin will even if it's just a yoda sentence and I am a little behind on wiki
Why, ever since we read King James does though shall keep popping up turning my spirit banter into prayers of Catholicism I thought I left behind when I became chronically sick every Sunday morning like only say the word and I shall be healed? Alert: word authority here it comes ..... as one delves deeper into consciousness, (there are more accessible ways of doing this like cicular breathing aka cosmic/rebirthing breath) old fears or traumatic incidents may resurface to integrate and release.. Like for example, today I woke up and meditated and began to recount an incident in highshcool where I ended up in inschool suspension for a day - it might have had something to do with me being tardy every day, I don't remember. This reminds me of Valis - I can imagine how much of a release writing in the style that he did must be.. He keeps a strong sense of his own identity through author surrogate, but mixes in "much needed objectivism" with detailed fiction integrated with his own spiritual experiences.
There was a Hallowween part y a mi casa Freeday and energy releasing we were in a kitchen jumping up and down and up started a chant a humming became lights smashing singing bashing banging walls cabinets sacred masks of healing chords band drums boxing gloves ahh no'oh no this hip hop cow isn't doin justice for the community melody dancing on glass Everyone Everyone beautiful unity one simple phrase catchin transforming jumps and starts dancers into singers open ephemereal glow real exchanges open gazes
Fire love
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Final project: Sacred Hymnotics
I've been thinking about it for a while. I've had other ideas, but sacred music keeps coming back. I'd like to report on music as a vehicle of spirit and exemplify by engaging and recording community and public 'performance' - possibly a discussion or in class participation if there's interest. Otherwise, I'd like to post audio files in addition to writing.
Attempt #2: Inspiration (talking to myself again)
Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice keeps me from feeling isolated.
-Albert Einstein (1932)
If it can be done it will. What is is. Go with the flow and let your emotions govern reality. I am stressed. Something the tank is good for is picky people who need or feel they need order or beauty to get into a natural flow. I’ve felt all talked out – this is a good sign.. something I read in book entitled Conversations with God is that if you’re reading about it or talking about it, you’re looking for it – you haven’t found it(not completely true but much of what we say to others is advice that we should take).
It’s as if any book I opened, finding things in my own way, help me achieve the realization that the outside and the inside are not so different – each are presenting us with some expression of self. Consciousness as self is avoiding the middleman – that scientist, rationality that would say this sentence sucks – non-judgement, in effect. Another good sign is that if it’s easy or fun, it’s probably a good step. One of my teachers had this group called the “Deschooling Convivium”- completely focused on letting our inner selves guide- doing what we want, and realizing that life is not some external “thing” – but a beautiful manifestation of what we know in our hearts is possible. We’re all doing it. And from rugby and ecofootprinting hello green box of chemicals I learned that sometimes – in order to go forward, you might have to go backwards (the rule is you can only pass backwards)
**Thanks so much for the encouraging words. I'll give that prof's stuff a shot the next time I hit one of my sporadic half-hour periods of motivation. In the meantime... I can't decide whether it's comforting or disturbing that my experience with mental illness so closely resembles your account of a bad trip. - zee_deveel
Alright, I'll come out with it - I had a bad trip (marshmellows) at Chucks farm a couple weeks ago. Opposites in huge numbers I was numb sitting in front of a fire for most of the night just takin in the vibes. It wasn't that it was bad - overstimulating perhapbs. Like a bambi father caught in crossfire when all I wanted was peace. Non judgement. I just judged the mispelling of jedged and missplellin it gian like I don't even care. I care. Even without caring. even when I hurt myself - make "ill decisions" I could look at myself as living or dying - growing or lying, deceased, reincarnate, I think too much when Buddha's reading decry that it is not in the body - in what we understand, in what we do, but in who we are - more than that. We are seperate yet we are all one - a duality. One must exist so the other exists. Living and dead. There must be balance. Resolution. Harmonics ringing through my soul singing singing singing. Always changing feels the same growing growing growing as I sit here listening to Tracy Chapman - "if everything you think you know makes your life unbearable, would you change?" On our paths its as if we can make no wrong choice - yet this is the stuff that moves us that guides us - to see the beauty in the ugly in a war in a world seemingly on fire sees past a veil we can work it out just let it be it's our Generation friends. I can't stop thinking about all the movies, books, lessons, songs, and most certainly people - teachers, rising past our ego disguises past control dramas to a place where peace and love prevail. From a planetary consciousness perpective, it's been a long time coming. But in a place of all eternal time it's been a blink of an eye. Just like GATORADE, it's in us packed solid like a land fill.