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Page history last edited by pfollers 9 years, 8 months ago


I haven't posted in a while, thought it was that i didnt have anything to say, but as the semester continues i have come to realize i have a lot to say but just dont want to say it. i feel like anything i have to say isnt important, whether its because im not confident in what i have to say, its not related to the subject at hand, or i didnt do the reading and honestly dont know. I have been a critic to myself for a long time now. I focus on everything i say and correct myself. I even tend to censor what i really want to say to make it sound more important, making myself more the fool. this is my last big semester, 15 credits, with 9 more in the summer so i can graduate in August and not December. Its a really big deal that i pass all my classes and finish school on time. i just cant seem to focus on anything right now. certain things from classes have stuck, but i cant keep up with everything because im just not doing everything i should be. i keep saying its senioritis but thats a lie. so i figured going back to the wiki would help. give me some motivation to speak about whats happening and maybe force me to do things better. thats it. TB


Toolbox, we're here for you! We care what you have to say!-Echan



so its been a while. much ahs happened and much more will happen, so sharing at a later date. two things from last semester need to be posted and viewed again and again. first the tale of FutureResist then some PkdValis memories and thoughts. enjoy and beware.



Just Accept This, It's Not Important

this is my attempt at a final project. I scanned my notes from the semester and combined them into one pdf file. It's very hard to read at points, full of spelling mistakes, mis-quotes, un-quotes, scribbled thoughts and theory. On top of all that, there is no real order to the pages. I had a post full of anger, fear and bitching, it was lost when cutting and pasting. probably for the best. I must not dwell on that which is out of my control. just breathe...



mobius is pleased to hear about your response to the information sacrifice of your post. Just think - you are helping to contribute to our Cosmic Purpose by creating elaborate, complex and often inconsistent discussions of Why Everything is So Difficult, then losing them in an outburst of entropy, leading to further posts...It was probably lost ( passive voice) due to an attention sink of some kind. You began to focus on something else, or perhaps the wiki did...Anyhoo, your pdf is sacred, already a delight to read. AND: mobius would appreciate some exegesis of some kind. Do a close reading of your own tractate, please. and post it here! - Towards ever greater dissipations of information, mobius


"Derrida searches the bible for shit." Whatever you said (and with your handwriting, I'm not sure), that's what I wanted you to say so that's what I saw. And I think it's fantastic. - C



Shouts of joy! Go see The Golden Compass. One of the best films i have seen in a while. Not because of the effects or the acting, but the story. The catholics want you to believe that this film is bad for your mind. they want everyone to view it as an abomination. The death of god is blasphemous and such. Well it's funny that while they try to control the thoughts of anyone willing to listen, the film discusses just that. The story surrounds a world in which all freedom of thought, all ideas, all souls, are controlled by "The Authority." This group wants to control all universes and "make everyone happy" by following their word. How they do it is by separating people from their souls. Taking them away and making all beings easier to control. As much hype as this film has received for killing god:


1. he wasn't in it

and therefore

2. he didn't die!


They are just frightened that this movie, this story, is against them. That it is used to inform people that by giving in to "The Authority" you lose your soul. You can no longer think for yourself. Their word is god. I was raised Catholic and have always been upset with the control that the church places on it's people. Sure a Priest can touch a little boy but god forbid you have an abortion. And don't commit suicide because god won't love you anymore. Cremation, birth control, etc.


Like that Priest unto the little boy, this movie touched me. It shows that we can reach out and help those who are blinded by the word of the authorities. That there is still hope in a society of control.

I haven't read the book yet, but as soon as I finish this entry, I will begin it.


Throughout human history as our species has faced a frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities, the political, the religious, the educational authorities who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing, forming in our minds their view of reality. To think for yourself, you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness, chaotic confused vulnerability to inform yourself.


So pry open that third eye and see what the authorities forbid you to see. make it up as you go, just as they do.


I've only read the first book, but apparently things take a bit of a turn thematically in the second book. I've heard that they do actually somehow kill god in the third book and that the symbolism is pretty clear. Granted, that's just hear-say, but it's from friends of mine who have read all three of the books and like/support them and who aren't even athiests OR religious in any certain sense. On top of that, the author of the books is a pretty ardent athiest and has said publically that he does intend the things in this book series to symbolize killing god. The books don't use the word "magesterium" nearly as much as they use the word "church." Despite all of this, I still feel like the religious fight against The Golden Compass is pretty silly. Okay, so it's anti-religious. Tons and tons of things are. Get used to it. Go fight hunger and poverty and injustice, if you really believe in a loving god. Leave good fiction and cinema alone!


Also, yes, for the love of god (or not, I guess? ha!), please read the books. I suppose people who read the book before the movie, for any move-book pairing, are often disappointed by the movie. I've been there before, but I feel like this time it was worse. Lyra was a much richer character in the book; a lot of little details that showed who she was in the book were lost in the scriptwriting and in the cutting room. This may be petty, but Mrs. Coulter was described in the book as a brunette, so Nicole Kidman's blonde hair (not even her natural color anyway!) really bugged me and some of the people around me. Back to really valid complaints, though, the movie cut off and ended without including the events of the last few chapters of the book. These were no insignificant denouement; someone died and the plot moved significantly to the point where you can see these god-killing themes really starting to take shape. I was pissed when the credits started rolling without all of this important stuff. -Unfinished


yeah the more i have discussed and read into the story it is very anti-god and whatnot. but when someone reads a book, they see it for what they comprehend of it. One of my friends was raised out side of any church and her father was an atheist. She had read the book when she was younger and didn't see it as a god killing tale. it was an adventure that took her to another world similar to ours but different in many ways. By the authority assuming that people will view it as an attack on something that they believe, they only further the desire to look into it. People love art that is blasphemous and engaging. Mobius always says the best way to get something read, listened to or watched is by banning it.


And yes, some other friends of mine were very upset with the ending of the movie and with how the events played out, moving points of plot to earlier and later times. i have adopted a book inspired film viewing system in which it is always better to see the movie first if you haven't read the book, thereby basing your decision of reading it on whether or not you appreciated the tale in the film. That way too, you are not as upset with the changes, you look at the movie version and just go, O hey that was different, COOL!



As I stumbled through my room earlier looking for a cigarette, I forgot what I was looking for and asked myself aloud, "What am I looking for?" I’ve been thinking about it all night. What am I looking for? I honestly am having a very hard time finding an answer. Happiness is the obvious answer. That's all anyone needs right? Could it be meaning? A reason to life, love, thought, existence. It just seems like the answer should be something so profound, would have to be something that once achieved, could cause a shift in reality. Things would come undone. Time would unravel. Stephen Colbert would become president. So really, What am I looking for? Or what should I be looking for?



I was in a car accident on Monday. I wasn't hurt and my car sustained minimal damage, but my world has been disrupted. It's like when I was hit, any handle I had on my emotions just went away. It's been very exciting to see how I will react to different situations. I find it very interesting that such a small, unimportant event can just rip my world apart and cause such an effect on me.



As the dates show it has been a while since my last posting. The past month has been very strange. I have had many thoughts and more than enough ideas of things to post about, but for some reason did not have the patience to transfer my thoughts to the wiki. Even now I am having troubles. I have been looking at notes I took over the past month and am seeing many similarities in what I have been working on. Reality, what it is to each of us and how many of us perceive it to be are the most common discussions. This has consisted mainly of understanding how we have different perceptions of literature. The theories that have popped into existence in the past century, how by viewing certain texts in certain ways, I just feel that this separates us from what is true. What may or may not have been intended in a text tends to lead us into a state of confusion of whether or not we are all truly equals. When looking at things through specific lenses we apply labels which refer to people of different origins, religions, sexual orientations, physical qualities and existence. This makes it harder for us to reach equality doesn't it? We see every as being different, leading to disputes over who is right and wrong, good and evil, in control and controlled. I have been attempting to look at texts in a monolithic view. To not look at the differences between characters and narrations. I feel that this is a great way to look at everyday life. To not "judge" others for what is different about them. To not even think about it. To just look at each and every person as a product of the same construct. To embrace the ying and the yang of humanity and treat them as a whole.


Meanwhile, The Book of Judith has grabbed my attention. I am using that and the mind of Philip K. Dick to put together a short story on resistance for another class. That will hopefully be directly connected to another long term assignment I have given myself.



Dick says that when the pink light blinded him, he experienced anamnesis, loss of forgetfulness. I forgot to post a remix of the Gospel of John, however, the collaborating efforts of PKD and a German translator already did it for me. When Dick's novel UBIK was translated into German, the line "I am the word" became "I am the brand name." In Dick's essay/speech "How to Build a Universe that Doesn't Fall Apart in Two Days," he envisions what would have happened if the translator had translated the Gospel according to John. Dick "supposes" it would have become "When all things began, the brand name already was. The brand name dwelt with God, and what God was, the brand name was." So much information from the mind of PKD bombarding my psyche. Must find connection. Valis. Bam!


I have begun reading VALIS. I was at Webster's today and the books are on back order. They could be in by next week. They may not be. Here is the definition of VALIS that is given at the beginning of the text.


VALIS Philip K. Dick 1981


VALIS (acronym of Vast Active Living Intelligence System from an American film): A perturbation in the reality field in which a spontaneous self-monitoring negentropic vortex is formed, tending progressively to subsume and incorporate its environment into arrangements of information. Characterized by quasi-consciousness, purpose, intelligence, growth and an armillary coherence.


-Great Soviet Dictionary, Sixth Edition, 1992



I would like to screen the Big Bang show from the history channel as my presentation. It would take up about a class and a half, so with the extra time we could discuss the relevance it has with VALIS. Awaiting approval from Doctor.


"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern meet Vladimir and Estragon" makes sense.



my apologies, my internet has been down for sometime now. IP address errors and terrible connection speeds prevented me from educating myself in the ways of Wiki. Lately I have been looking at my life and trying to figure out what I could do differently to better myself. there is too much worry in the back of mind about stupid things that I shouldn't give any thought to. Like the missing keys and knowing exactly where they were. I still worried that they might not be there. What if the keys would just VanishFromReality? then what would I do? Slight noises grab my attention, my focus is gone. I must learn to relax. Must consult the sacred texts.



We are in a puzzle. We are presented with the task of discovering where we began, what we are, and how our universe will end. It is our job to figure this out. If we pursue this task with Integrity and persistence, we will be rewarded. Our spirits live on while participating in this ultimate battle of life. I just finished watching a show on the History Channel called “The Universe.” I watched the Big Bang episode, which I would love to bring into class and screen, and really enjoyed it. It talked about all the different scientists and their theories throughout the course of history. It was very informative and gave a great picture of what happened, according to Science.


In the beginning was the VOID.

When the VOID became conscious of itself, thought was produced. This thought expanded into the creation of information. Everything was born from this first thought.



I was chewing on something I read by PaperDove. I agree with your feelings on being with oneself. I have felt that when I am in solitude, I tend to dwell on things I have done, regrets. However, when I do get those feelings of regret when I am alone, I just face the fact that they had occurred and that I must let them go. I just push forward towards better times. I figure that dwelling on the past can't be very productive, since I can't really change what happened. Just laugh at what was done and learn from it. My time in the float tank last semester was one of the most relaxing things I have ever experienced. I had no thoughts of regret or aloneness. I was just there with my thoughts. Letting them go away and just drifting in the VOID. I encourage people to try the tank. It's a wonderful experience. It provides time for reflection on ourselves and the world around us. It's very safe and calming. There is really nothing to fear.


Toolbox- I agree whole-heartedly that dwelling on one's past is almost always counter-productive. I think it is through fault of my own that I have a hard time letting go of things that I regret. Perhaps self-reflection does not always have to be negative, but a chance to gain something positive from one's mistakes by making plans for future improvement. -PaperDove



So, I have been thinking about what I would like to do as a final project. More than likely, it will be a story or a collection of thoughts and works from the semester. I'd like to include notes containing ideas from other classes and even emails and letters to people. It should be very informative and ridiculous. I am looking forward to it.


In the mean time, I think it would be fun to put together a little class project/get-together. So, Announcing the First Annual Society Of Control Bake Sale/Film Fest part 2. Mobius' discussion about all churches having a bake sale to raise money and share films with the community that discuss controlled societies. Last semester's Film Fest went well, despite the entropic effects of Time. We all had a good time and really learned a lot by sharing with each other. The money can go to the formation of an event next semester or something. If we get a start on this now, we can set up something really amazing. It could be a very effective tool in informing the community of the society in which we live in. I invite all to get involved and to come up with ideas of activities people could participate in, movies to watch, food to bring, and anything else that might make the day memorable. Also, please check out the links for the Film Fest from last semester, especially the documentary by Houdini.

Film Fest Documentary

Film Fest Wiki

Film Fest


Here is the link for the SOCBS/FFp2. Post your ideas!




I wrote a little story. I just thought about the people I know and wanted to put them in strange situations. TBStory


I have a lot of reading to do this semester and so far most of the readings have been related. There has been a lot of talk about Structuralism and finding meaning or not in words. Also, Resistance against the system has been brought up in several conversations. It's great. This semester is going to be very enlightening.



So it's Labor Day and I got to thinking of why we celebrate on this day. It just seemed to me that most people get together and have a picnic or a BBQ today. Just to have a day of rest at the end of the summer, the time of year that most people rest, really amused me. On top of that, it's a day of rest after a day of rest.

I haven't read Genesis for class yet. I read it back in the days of me going to church. Some of it I remember. Mostly just the wrath of God striking down anyone and everyone. Those were the days.



Yesterday I was young and today I am old. Another year has passed in my life and I keep looking back at my experiences and how they have made me who I am today. Most importantly, I have been looking back to the acquaintances I have made over the years. Many of them, I believed to be friends. Some may have been so, however I have learned that true friends are hard to come by. Someone who sticks by you no matter what, someone that truly cares for your well being above their own. I can gladly say that I have a few of these and I try to keep them in my life as much as possible. However some friends have gone, some for forever and some for the time being. When True friends are found keep them close. Cherish them, because they are hard to come by. More importantly though, when they are gone, remember the good times. Remember what made you close. The joy that was shared. That's what really matters. Never forget True friends.




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