1/28/09

After yesterday's discussion in class, I began to wonder even more about Burrough's relationship with his family.  When reading Junky, I too was shocked that we did not hear about Burrough's wife or children until he was interrogated by the police officer.  At first, when reading that part, I thought that Burroughs was making up this family, in order for the officer to release him or treat him better, or at least show more compassion for Burroughs.  When the wife and children were mentioned again many pages later, I was shocked to discover they were not mythical characters. 

This discovery makes me wonder about who Burroughs considered his "family", or if he considered anyone his family, and how his wife felt in all of these situations.  Did she know that her husband was more attracted to men, and writing down so eloquently and passionately his encounter with these "boys"?  It amazes me that she stayed with him for such a long period of time (she must have if they had children together) if she knew all of this.  How difficult it must be to know that your husband is much more attracted to adolescent boys rather than to you, his wife.  He never acknowledges any act of intimacy with his wife, and I don't believe that we are ever even given her name.  But, in the passage that Nick read in class on Tuesday, we hear details about how Burroughs folded his pants and where he touched his boy partner.  How depressing!?

I would be very curious to hear if Burroughs ever mentions this apparent discrepancy, or if his wife ever spoke up about these instances.  What a difficult life to live...

1/21/09

 So I'm not exactly sure where this is going to go, but here goes nothing...

I loved Ludlow's piece.  Sure I didn't even come close to reading all of it, but the first couple of chapters were great.  As an individual who does not do drugs, it certainly gave me some insight.  Despite the whole "subjective experience" thing that we've been discussing, I can definitely imagine that I would do similar things if I were to begin using. 

The most interesting thing that Ludlow said was definitely about his feelings of immortality.  Who knew drugs made you immortal?  Certainly not me.  If anything, I would have thought the opposite.  But I'll take his word for this one.  Anyway, his feels of immortality seemed so intriguing.  I wonder, really, how he felt about his feeling of immortality.  I think that I would be terrified if I ever began to feel this way: there seems to be nothing that would lead to an earlier death than feeling immortal.  However, despite all of this, I admire Ludlow's bravery.  Descending a never ending set of stair sounds like a frightening experience- one no doubt I never want to experience anyway.  But yet he continued on his quest.

I also loved how Ludlow felt that he was traveling the world constantly while he was high.  Unlike Burroughs, who stole things and bummed around while high, Ludlow seemed to really enjoy life and his experiences.  I only wish that world travel was as easy as an impressive imagination.

Finally, I enjoyed Ludlow's friend (in Chapter 4 or so), who pretended to also be high and travel the world with Ludlow.  What a great friend.  Rather than trying to help Ludlow stay sober, the friend encouraged Ludlow's experimentation.  Nonetheless, if one of my friends were stoned and tried to hold my hand and travel around the world, I can say with confidence that I would run as fast as possible in the other direction.  Good for Ludlow's friend, for being so open minded and commited to keeping Ludlow safe.

I hope to read the rest of his account of drugs in the near future, and hopefully I will be able to blog more when I come to a better conclusion as to whether I think ultimately his experiences were permissible or not.  Until then...